Blog-o-ween 2022: Quiet Please

It is not often that you get more than one shot at the brass ring in your life. The carousel moves pretty fast, and your horse may be going down when you need it to go up. Rarer still is the person who is capable of grabbing ahold of said ring on more than one occasion. Wyllis Cooper is just such a man.

Born in 1899 in Pekin, Illinois, Wyllis Cooper joined the U.S. Cavalry soon after graduating from high school. Unfortunately, the First World War was still being fought at the time. In 1917, he was sent to France, and he was gassed during the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. When he returned home in 1919, he became an advertising man, working in radio by the time the 1920s were in full swing.

In 1934, he created his first great radio show, Lights Out. In 1936, he left Lights Out in the more than capable hands of Arch Oboler -- he of "A Day at the Dentist" fame (see the Blog-o-ween entry for 1 October for that short, sharp tale). Cooper, like so many other successful writers, went to Hollywood. There, he wrote scripts for the Mr. Moto series, as well as Son of Frankenstein in 1939.

After moving to New York City in 1940, Cooper returned to his advertising roots, working in the radio department of Compton Advertising, Inc. In 1944, lightning struck a second time in Cooper's professional life when he created Quiet Please.

With actor Ernest Chappell behind the mic for each episode, Cooper's scripts for Quiet Please ranged from science fiction to family dramas to out and out horror. It was a rare episode of Quiet Please that required more than two or three actors. Chappell's deadpan delivery of Cooper's words were usually sufficient. What Cooper wanted for Quiet Please were actors who could act without acting. He wanted his show to sound like it was really happening. Chappell was the perfect man for the job.

By the time the show ran its course and wrapped up in the summer of 1949, Quiet Please had amassed 106 episodes of dark fantasy that radio historians consider to be the pinnacle of the artform. Here, for your listening pleasure, are three...

First up is a story about a house near the astronomical observatory at the top of Mt. Wilson. The men are planning to rob a bank and decide that the little house is the perfect place to hide their ill-gotten gains. They ask someone at the observatory what is inside the house, and they are told that there is "Nothing Behind the Door." Truer words were never spoken.

Next up is "Wear the Dead Man's Coat." This is the story of a homeless man who just wants to find a coat to keep him warm. Desperate, he kills a man and takes his coat. As he tries to avoid being noticed, he recalls an old saying from his childhood: "Wear the dead man's coat, none take note." Once again...truer words, man...truer words...

Let's end the evening with one of Quiet Please's more light-hearted episodes. This one is also perfect for this spooky season. In "Don't tell Me About Halloween," a man marries a witch, but he only needs to see her once a year...on Halloween. He spends the rest of the time dreading seeing his wife, because she will find out what he's been up to the rest of the year. She's a jealous woman, you see, and if her hubby hasn't been faithful...well...at least marriage doesn't last forever, right? Right?!