Part 3: Chapter 47
It is 18 January 1979. Dennis and Leigh are sitting in Dennis’ car (a Plymouth) in the Kentucky Fried Chicken parking lot. Between bites of fried chicken and bouts of smooching, they discuss how they can kill Christine. They are wondering when is the best time to approach the problem, when Arnie and Christine make their decision for them.
Without being seen (but also without seeing Dennis and Leigh), Arnie parks in the same parking lot. On his way back to Christine with his hands full of chicken, Arnie finally catches sight of the two young lovers. Dennis attempts to hobble after Arnie before he can make it back to Christine. Arnie beats him to his car. As Christine roars forward to run Dennis down, both he and Leigh see Arnie’s face turn into a skull… LeBay’s fleshless, grinning face…
We are gonna make short work of this chapter, Blog-o-weeners. It is only eight pages, after all. Not a lot happens, but it is the springboard from which the rest of the novel (only five chapters to go!) lurches forward.
My family was not a Kentucky Fried Chicken household. I am not sure why. Maybe there just weren’t any in our general area. There were plenty of Burger Kings, McDonald’ses, and (my personal favorite) Wendy’ses. (Is that the plural form of a possessive?) In fact, I can’t recall if any of my friends ever ate at the Colonel’s. Alls I know is that every time I saw one if those red-and-white buckets on TV, I wanted to sink my teeth into some extra-crunchy.
Fun fact: in 1991, Kentucky Fried Chicken officially changed its name to KFC. Many assume that this was done so because the trend in the culture was moving away from fried and fatty foods and to more healthful alternatives. Having the word “Fried” right smack in the middle of the name was not helpful.
This is only partially true, however.
Another issue at play was the fact that KFC was looking to expand into other, foreign markets. A shorter, simpler name would do wonders for the company in places like China, for instance.
(Fun fact within the original fun fact: KFC has a different name in Quebec. There, it is known as PFK, short for “Poulet Frit Kentucky.”)
Another reason (and one that I’ve never heard before) is that in 1990 the Commonwealth of Kentucky (the full, actual name of the state — fun fact within a fun fact within a fun fact… Pennsylvania is also a Commonwealth) trademarked the name “Kentucky.” What this meant for the company is that the Colonel would have had to start paying for the right to keep using the name of the state. It’s a compelling explanation — Kentucky trademarks the name in 1990, the restaurant becomes KFC in 1991.
Speaking of chicken…
I thought we had cleared up the whole chicken/egg argument about where the evil in Christine came from. I feel like we landed once and for all, definitively on the Roland D. LeBay side of things. He poured his rage and jealousies and hatred into his car, sacrificed a few loved ones within it, and this allowed his spirit to remain to reside with in it and Arnie.
Done and done.
Dennis remarks that Arnie’s having found the two lovers in each other’s arms in a fast food restaurant parking lot was
“Nothing but a coincidence — a grisly, hideous coincidence. Except that even now a part of my mind is coldly convinced that it was Christine… that even at that turn, Christine led him there.” (440)
If it is Christine that knew about Dennis and Leigh, and it was Christine that drove Arnie (pun intended) to choose the Colonel’s chicken over the neighboring Kowloon Express Chinese restaurant, where does that leave LeBay? When he is with Christine, Arnie is LeBay essentially. So when Arnie sees Dennis and Leigh licking each other’s fingers, is it he that is shocked and hurt by the betrayal… or is it LeBay?
It is a conundrum.
And it is a problem that we can work out at that motel up ahead. I told you it was going to be a short run today. Our next leg of our journey through Christine is also going to be a quickie. For tomorrow read Part 3: Chapter 48. Dennis knows he and Leigh have to act fast now that the Unholy Three of LeBay-Arnie-Christine know about their affair. What are they going to do? How are they going to defeat that demon on wheels?
I know this is a case of closing the barn door after the horse has escaped, but… c’mon, Dennis and Leigh… with all the death surrounding you guys, you couldn’t have been a bit smarter about where you chose to neck? How about that Arby’s that Dennis drove by in the beginning of the novel. No one goes to Arby’s.
Well, Blog-o-weeners, I guess it is up to us to learn the lessons that young lovers are too distracted to learn. After all…
