Wings, S01E04, "Return to Nantucket, Pt. 2"

Hoping to win back his ex-wife, Carol (Kim Johnston Ulrich), before she leaves for London, Brian Hackett asks her to meet him on top of the Prudential Building in Boston. Joe and Helen follow Brian in order to pick up the pieces when Carol inevitably doesn't show. However, to everyone's shock and chagrin, Carol steps out of the elevator and back into their lives.

Back on Nantucket, Brian is on cloud nine now that he and Carol are back together. Unfortunately, he is the sole occupant of said cloud, because Carol is too busy smooching with Joe. Worse still -- Joe is smooching her back! Has Carol returned to Nantucket only to drive a wedge between the Hackett brothers again? Will Carol ever remember who Helen is and how awfully she treated her in high school? Is "locker pizza" the next big thing?

Let's take a closer look...

Is it me or does actress Kim Johnston Ulrich look a bit like Diane from Cheers? Enough so that I had to check to see if she was Shelley Long's double. No such luck, although Ms. Ulrich did show up on an episode in 1988. Taking a gander at her credits, Ulrich did the tour of all the big TV series of the 1980s and 1990s -- The A-Team, Hunter, Jake and the Fat Man, Matlock, Murder, She Wrote, etc. The credit that caught my eye, however, was Passions. If you've never seen an episode of that bizarro soap opera, then you owe it to yourself to track it down. I'm sure there are clips on YouTube somewhere. If you mixed the paranormal storylines of Dark Shadows with the self-referential, "breaking-the-fourth-wall" nature of, say, It's Gary Shandling's Show, then you'd kinda get an idea of the weirdness of Passions. I mean, this was a soap in which the characters would sometimes be shown watching a soap on TV called...Passions. You see what I mean? Kim Johnston Ulrich portrayed the character "Ivy Winthrop" for the show's entire run from 1999-2008, and I say good for her. That show would take top mention on my CV if I were her.

I'm not one of those people who feel the need to "correct" the thinking of older shows. People viewed the world differently in the past, and I am sure that the shows of today will look equally "unwoke" to viewers thirty years from now. Or maybe they'll make fun of them for being woke in the first place. Who knows? Having said that, the fat jokes about Helen have worn (dare I say?) thin. I think that every line that Crystal Bernard has in this episode centers around her character's weight and food issues. One or two lines would be fine, but after the tenth such mention, I found myself saying aloud, "I get it! She used to be overweight!" Crystal Bernard is a swell comedic actress, she deserves better...though I have to admit watching her eat pizza in a locker is kinda funny. And the thought of a meatball bouncing off her left breast made me chortle.

You know who else is funny? Lowell. Of course, he is! We're four episodes into Wings, and already Lowell is the guy we can't wait to see on screen. Lowell is in fine form this episode as he gets a bit confused about Roy's aversion to "woman" things:

Lowell: Where's Helen?

Roy: Trust me, Lowell, you don't want to know. 

Lowell: (Thinks it over.) Yes, I do. 

Roy: I think it's one of those "woman" things. God, I'm tired of those. 

Lowell: You're tired of them? 

Roy: Yeah. 

Lowell: You're tired of those "woman" things? (Puts two and two together and comes up with five.) Roy, are you telling me that you're a woman dressed up like a man? 

Roy: What did you say? 

Lowell: And a hearing loss to boot. You've got a lot on your plate, my friend. 

Roy: Are you stark, raving mad? 

Lowell: Ah! A fiery wench. Guys love that. 

Roy: You stay away from me. 

Lowell: Relax, Roy. My wife would kill me if she caught me cheating on her.

Lowell's confusions are compounded to the point where, later, he offers some rather strange advice to a down-in-the-mouth Joe:

Lowell: Everything okay, Joe? 

Joe: Well, actually, I've got a little problem, but, hey, everyone has problems. 

Lowell: Not like yours. Listen, Joe, if you and Brian want to date each other, well, it's your own business. But before you give up on the fairer sex, give Roy a call. A nicer gal you won't find anywhere.

Could we love Lowell more?

Parting is such sweet sorrow, as the Hackett brothers discovered when they gave Carol the bum's rush at episode's end (did you really think Carol was going to stick around?). That's right, folks, it's that time again. Time to make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright positions. Time to securely fastened your seat belts. Time to stow your carry-on luggage beneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. We have been given permission to land. But worry not, our next flight is coming up soon. Next time we take to the air, we will be discussing "There Once Was a Girl from Nantucket."

Wings, S01E03, "Return to Nantucket, Pt. 1"

Brian learns from an old friend that Carol, the woman who came between the Hackett brothers six years ago, is moving to London. Good riddance, say Joe and Helen. Brian outwardly agrees, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, he engages in a little illicit computer research to discover that Carol will have a four-hour layover in Boston. Reading this as a sign that they are meant to be together, Brian calls Logan Airport and leaves a message for Carol to meet him on top of the Prudential Building.

Will Carol meet Brian atop the Pru? Will the fog covering Nantucket ever break? Will Lowell have the plane fixed in time for Brian to make his rendezvous? Will Roy's love of video store pornography ever not be used as a punchline?

These are the burning questions - more or less - that viewers want answered. So, let's get to it!

First off, let's talk structure. This is part one of a two-part episode. Is it me or does three episodes into a new series seem a little early to be doing this? Multi-part episodes are usually "must-see-TV" - cliffhangers, mid-season turning points, big reveals, etc. You know, the type of episode where Ernie Anderson's mellifluous voiceover on the promo announces, "Tonight, on a very special episode..."

Here, however, it doesn't feel as though Wings has earned the right to have a multi-part episode just yet. Sure, Carol plays a big part in the lives of the Hackett Bros. (and poor Helen, too), but to give her return a two-parter seems a little generous. It would have been better for the writers to play up the character of Carol for a bit longer, to keep her off-screen, but on the lips of everyone - kinda like Harry Lime in The Third Man. Then, after a season or so of dropping hints about her, when she finally enters the action, her appearance would garner a lot more attention and meaning.

A quick lesson in not-so-current affairs: for about fifty years or so, popular culture was filled with references to the Cold War between the East and West, between communism and capitalism, between dictatorship and democracy. Then, almost overnight in the fall of 1989, the world changed when communist regimes throughout Eastern Europe began to loosen their grips on the reins of power. The symbol for this relatively peaceful change in the minds of many was the fall of the Berlin Wall. Loads of people believed that it was the end of history. Perhaps Fay counts herself as a member of that camp when she announces another delay in Sandpiper Air's Flight 14 to Boston, then tries to soften the blow by also saying, "But on the bright side, freedom and democracy have broken out in Eastern Europe!"

Nice try, Fay, but you and Francis Fukuyama may have celebrated a tad too early!

Enough with the history lessons. Let's take a look at the performances. Everyone in the cast gets a chance to shine and deliver a zinger or two. Helen's takedown of both Brian's friend and the numbskullery of astrology is especially fine:

Danny: Hi, Helen. I'm guessing you're a Sagittarius.

Helen: I'm guessing you're not a high school graduate.

Fay's championing of neo-liberal economics aside, she and Lowell team up for a crackerjack exchange about "the man upstairs." Lowell announces that he's fixed Sandpiper's plane, thus allowing Brian to make his trip to Boston to meet Carol. Brian declares it to be "a miracle" and "divine intervention." Unfortunately, Fay has received some bad news:

Fay: I just heard from the man upstairs.

Lowell: You just talked to the man upstairs?

Fay: Yeah -- Frank.

Lowell: God's name is Frank?

Fay: No, you see...[notes the confusion on Lowell's face]...Yes, that's right, Lowell.

Brian: What? What? What did he say?

Fay: We're fogged in. The airport's shut down.

Brian: Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

Lowell: Don't be so formal. Call Him Frank.

But let us, like Brian, hasten to Boston. After stealing Sandpiper Air's plane and winging off to Boston in a thick fog, Brian waits atop the Prudential Building for Carol to appear. There's a great little scene between him and a security guard played by Bryan Clark:

Guard: Hey, kid, are you still waiting?

Brian: 'Fraid so, 'fraid so.

Guard: Oh, listen now, don't worry. She'll be here. I know about these things. Yes, sir, I've seen it all up here. This place is a never-ending panorama of humanity: the heartache, the joy, the drama, the tears. [Pats the revolver on his hip.] I've even had to use this baby a couple of times.

Brian: Really? How long have you been working here?

Guard: Oh, I don't work here.

Plus, you gotta love that beatnik beard he's sporting!

Soon, Joe and Helen arrive to give Brian a shoulder to cry on. Before that happens, however, a taxi cab driver enters the scene with a bouquet of flowers for Brian. This character is played by Sy Richardson, who I will always associate with Repo Man (1984). I'd like to think that this is the same character. Maybe a few years after Otto took off in the UFO, Lite figured he'd had enough of the City of Angels and moved to Boston. Now instead of firing a round of blanks into a house while he breaks into a car, he's gotta deliver flowers and romantic messages to mullet-headed honkies on top of the Pru. It's a living!

Can we talk about the Boston skyline in this scene, please? I'm not one of those people who demand realism from sets. In fact, I rather relish the "phoniness" of shooting on a soundstage instead of on location. But, boy, oh boy, does the backdrop from the top of the Pru look disorienting here. It's like a Wayne Thibaud painting. If I would've presented my high school art teacher with a drawing that looked like this, Mr. Joyner would have castigated me for my crummy perspective and vanishing points.

Am I missing anything? Oh, yeah. Carol. Well, right before the end of the episode, she shows up. More on that next time.

For now, let’s make sure our seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright positions, our seat belts are securely fastened, and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of us or in the overhead bins. For our next flight, we will find out if Carol (Kim Johnston Ulrich) is going to stick around and become a full-fledged member of the Wings family when we talk about "Return to Nantucket, Part 2."