Blog-o-ween 2022: Edgar Allan Poe

It's that part of the week that everyone is working for, and that means that we are two days away from Halloween 2022. We've been through a lot, you and I. We've listened to, we've learned from, and we've loved a lot of old time radio, but something's been missin' don'cha think? It's kinda like we threw a party but there's one guest that RSVP'ed who hasn't shown up yet. That one party animal without whom we might as well pack up the beerball and call it a night. And I don't mean that kid who's taking a second trip through his junior year, the one in the torn up "Who Farted?" t-shirt who can chug an Old Milwaukee tall boy while standing on his head neither...although...given our Blog-o-ween subject's history with alcohol, maybe that's exactly who I'm talking about, after all!

What can we say about Edgar Allan Poe that hasn't already been drilled into our heads during a junior high English class? He was born in Boston in January, 1809, and he died in Baltimore in October, 1849. In between, E.A. Poe lived a life with as many ups and downs as an Otis elevator, albeit the downs outnumbered the ups by a conservative 4-to-1 margin.

Even in death, the poor man couldn't catch a break. Rufus Wilmot Griswold, an editor, critic, and antholgist, bore Poe a grudge. The tension between the two men stemmed from Poe's attack on Griswold's critical acumen in his 1842 book The Poets and Poetry of America. Later, Griswold replaced Poe as co-editor at Graham's Magazine at a higher salary, something Poe could not stomach. Somehow, even through all this antagonism and aggrievement, Griswold was named Poe's literary executor upon his death, and he used this position to spread lies and destroy Poe's reputation.

Thankfully, Griswold failed at his attempt at literary assassination. Due to the dilligence of people who knew Poe well, as well as French critics and writers like Charles Baudelaire, Poe's reputation remained intact, and in fact only grew as the years passed.

Today, we have a collection of classic tales from the imagination of Edgar Allan Poe. Poe's work was a source of inspiration to many old time radio producers and writers over the years. A search of the Internet Archive would reveal myriad adaptations to choose from -- all of them weird, all of them wonderful. I've chosen four that I think best represent the man and the radio programs of the 20th century.

First up is a classic tale of revenge from Hall of Fantasy. Two men are enjoying Carnival in Venice. Unbeknownst to one of the men, the other holds a venomous grudge against him and plots his revenge. Montresor invites the drunken Fortunato to his family vaults, luring him deeper and deeper into the catacombs with the promise of..."The Cask of Amontillado."

Next is one of the, if not the most famous tale Poe ever wrote, "The Tell-Tale Heart." Adapted for The Weird Circle in 1944, the story is about one man's murderous obsession and the way his conscience gets the better of him.

Next up is an episode of the CBS Radio Mystery Theater. It is a updated adaptation of my personal favorite Poe tale, "Berenice." In this version, a young man falls in love with his young sister-in-law while his wife lies on her deathbed. The last distressing smile of his wife taunts him day and night, and he goes crazy when he sees the same smile on his new beloved.

Lastly, we have the other story for which Poe is so rightly famous. "The Fall of the House of Usher" is a gothic masterpiece, and the radio show Escape does a fine job of bring it to life...and death!

Blog-o-ween 2022: Escape

 

"Tired of the everyday grind? Ever dream of a life of romantic adventure? Want to get away from it all? We offer you... Escape!"

With those words, a magic portal to a world of excitement opened up to radio listeners in the 1940s and 1950s. Introduced at times by William Conrad and at others by Paul Frees (two of old time radio's all-time great voices), Escape was radio's leading anthology series of high-adventure. Produced and directed by Norman MacDonnell, Escape aired on CBS from July, 1947, to September, 1954. Although it did not have a regular sponsor or even a regular airtime (its schedule was often moved around), Escape drew big audiences and is considered to be in the top tier of all radio shows ever produced.

It seems that a lot of people wanted what was offered...Escape!

Tonight, we have three of some of the best episodes that Escape ever aired. First up is an adaptation of the John Collier short story "Evening Primrose." It concerns a strange story scribbled on a notepad found in a deaprtment store. The story purports to tell the story of a poet fed up with the regular world, who decides to break free by living in and off of a store. Unfortunately, the poet discovers that he isn't the only person with that idea.

Next, we have an adaptation of Daphne Du Maurier’s story "The Birds" -- some ten years before Alfred Hitchock's film. Set on a farm on the southern coast of England, the birds throughout the countryside seem unusually perturbed. Soon, pooping on everyone's freshly washed cars isn't enough for them. As the story progresses, they begin attacking people, causing widespread panic, and cutting the survivors off from each other.

Last up is Escape's version of the M. R. James classic, "Casting the Runes." In it, a man is slipped a piece of paper with strange markings on it. The runes foretell his death. Can he break the curse in time?

Blog-o-ween 2022: Algernon Blackwood

Today, let's focus on the old time radio work of a single author, Algernon Blackwood. Blackwood was born in a part of north-west Kent, England, called Shooter's Hill in 1869. Throughout his life, he developed one heck of a C.V.: dairy farmer in Canada, hotelier, newspaper reporter in New York City, bartender, model, private secretary, businessman, and violin teacher. It was when he returned to his native England in his late thirties that he began to write the stories of the supernatural that would make his name, including his two most well-known works, "The Willows" and "The Wendigo."

Old time radio on both sides of the pond took advantage of the wealth of material generated during his career.

One of the most famous radio series, Escape, began with either William Conrad or Paul Frees (two of radio's best ever voice actors) intoning:

"Tired of the everyday grind? Ever dream of a life of romantic adventure? Want to get away from it all? We offer you... Escape!"

Why anyone would choose to escape into an Algernon Blackwood story is beyond me, but they did when Escape adapted "Ancient Sorceries" and "Confession." The former is a tale of the supernatural and witchcraft in a small Welsh town. The latter is the noir-esque story of a shell-shocked soldier walking the fog-filled streets of London and finding a dead body. The probelm is the soldier can't recall if he did or did not cause the woman's death.

Canada's CBC Mystery Theatre got in on the act, as well. In 1968, they broadcast an adaptation of one of Blackwood's most famous tales, "The Wendigo." In this story, a hunting party go out into the Canadian wilderness in search of moose, but instead they may have found an ancient legend in the flesh.

Finally, let's hear from the man himself. In 1948, the BBC broadcast Algernon Blackwood reading...Algernon Blackwood! The story is a quickie called "Pistol Against a Gun."

LARPing Real Life Versus Leiningen Versus the Ants

Last year, just as the first COVID lockdown was happening, we had a bug problem in our apartment.

No, nothing as serious as Mr. Pratt's houseguests. Our bugs were of the ant variety.

Well, maybe it just felt like the problem was that big. My wife and I certainly had to take some drastic measures.

Okay, it was just me wiping everything down in our kitchen with lemon juice and shaking cinnamon everywhere until I could find out where the little buggers were coming from. Then I went out and bought some ant traps. Happy? Sheesh!

One of the things that popped into my mind while I was looking up ways to fight off this tiny, invading army was "Leiningen Versus the Ants." How could I not think of this classic "Humanity vs. Nature" story that I'd first encountered in a junior high English class? (I seem to recall also being introduced to Jack London's "To Build a Fire" - another classic of the genre - and Edgar Allan Poe's "The Masque of the Red Death" at about the same time. What a trifecta of terror!)

Written by Austrian-born German Carl Stephenson in 1938, "Leiningen Versus the Ants" is an old-style adventure yarn, a short story genre that has fallen out of favor in more literary circles. Modern readers may be surprised to discover that Stephenson's story was published alongside Ernest Hemingway in the December 1938 issue of Esquire.

(Now's not the time or the place to get into the whole "genre vs literary fiction" debate, so I will simply recommend that you check out Michael Chabon's introduction to his 2001 book of essays, Maps & Legends. "Trickster in a Suit of Lights: Thoughts on the Modern Short Story" pretty much says it all as far as I am concerned.)

The story is simple: A government official makes a special and urgent call to Leiningen's plantation in the middle of the Brazilian rainforest. The purpose of his visit? To bring warning of an oncoming nightmare: "Ten miles long, two miles wide--ants, nothing but ants!" Leiningen's spread is directly in the ants' path, and if the plantation owner and his 400 workers don't clear out pronto, then they risk being eaten alive.

Leiningen thanks the official for his visit, but he doesn't plan on going anywhere. His plantation represents three years of hard work, and he won't leave it for love or money...or ants.

The rest of the story tells of Leiningen's attempts to thwart the insectoid tidal wave. Moats are dug, petrol is splashed liberally about, and in the end it's up to Leiningen himself to face the six-legged onslaught.

Told you the story was simple.

One of the things that will probably strike modern readers (and maybe infuriate them, too) is that Leiningen isn't the "bad guy" in the story. Sure, he's obstinate and maybe a bit arrogant, but he isn't some mustache-twirling, cigar-chomping villain that will make readers actively root for the ants. He's just a guy who wants to save his life's work from going down the gullet of a bunch of insects. Should "Leiningen Versus the Ants" get a remake, then I can see Leiningen being protrayed as an eco-colonizer who is exploiting the land and his workers for profit. The ants would be recast as a miles-long and wide swarm of tiny avenging angels. 

I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy watching that movie, and I'm also not saying that the questions that movie would ask aren't pertinent to our present-day eco-crisis, but I think it's also interesting to view this story from the perspective of the times in which it written. For right or wrong, "Leiningen Versus the Ants" is a story about problem solving and overcoming obstacles. It's about heroism in the face of an elemental force, or as the government official says, "an act of God." Reading the story with that frame of mind might allow the more skeptical reader to enjoy Stephenson's story as it was intended -- a simple action-adventure yarn.

While "Leiningen Versus the Ants" might not be at the same level as, say, "The Most Dangerous Game" in terms of number of adaptations, there are still quite a few very good versions that have been turned out over the years.

The radio program Escape churned out a few adaptations in the late-40s with William Conrad as Leiningen. Conrad's voice carried such gravitas over the radio. By his own estimate, he portrayed more than 7,500 roles during his radio career, the most famous being Marshal Matt Dillon on Gunsmoke. Conrad's Leiningen is determination and resourcefulness personified.

Not to be outdone, the radio show Suspense also brought Leiningen to America's ears in the late-1950s. Once again, William Conrad stepped into Leiningen's petrol-soaked shoes for a 1957 broadcast. Two years later, Suspense was at it again, only this time Mexican-born actor Luis van Rooten portrayed the plantation owner.

The movies got in on the act in 1954 with the release of The Naked Jungle. Produced by George Pal and directed by Byron Haskin, it starred Charleton Heston as Leiningen and introduced a love interest (played by Eleanor Parker) into the equation -- as is Hollywood's wont.

If you aren't into big screen adaptations, how about a Leiningen-esque story from the small screen? Back in 1985, everyone's favorite improv action-adventure hero, Macgyver, battled a horde of ravenous ants in the Brazilian rainforest in the episode called "Trumbo's World." Who knew duct tape and a Swiss army knife were the jungle ant's natural enemies?

Finally, if you like the funny books more than anything, then we got you covered, baby. Strange Suspense Stories #20 published a comic version of "Leiningen..." -- er, I mean "Van Mohl Versus the Ants" back in 1954. This version of the story is the one most modern readers would prefer, with Van Mohl portrayed as a big fat jerk who gets his comeuppance in the most EC Comics' Tales from the Crypt sort of way. It's very satisfying to see Van Mohl's fate in that last panel.

So, I hope you are all better prepared now to handle your next ant invasion. Because, as I'm sure you're now well aware, it's a matter of "when" not "if."

Besides, I'm much happier now that I've made my peace with our new ant overlords. I may not understand what the heck is going on...but it's certainly a funkier world.

It is 25 October. There are 6 days until Halloween.

One of the pleasures of horror is the “I told you so!” moment. This is the scene in just about every short story, novel, and movie when the scales fall from the skeptical main character’s eyes, and they come face-to-face with the horrifying truth of their situation. It’s always fun to see some know-it-all get his/her comeuppance.

Obviously, the reader or viewer has known the truth all along. I don’t think there is a horror junkie alive who goes into a story or movie with an attitude of “Well, let’s wait until all the facts are in.” We know that the house is haunted; we know what lurks out in the moors. The pleasure is in watching the stuffy, obtuse main character’s rational worldview come crashing down around their ears.

Montague Rhodes James wrote stories filled to overflowing with such prissy, unbelieving characters. They are college professors and scholars and antiquarians, people more comfortable reading about things than actually experiencing them. Men (and they are always men) who wouldn’t believe the sun rose every day in the east unless they read about it in a properly researched and footnoted article in a peer-reviewed journal. The existence of curses, ghosts, and demons? Forget about it!

In Escape’s adaptation of M. R. James’s “Casting the Runes,” John Dunning is our skeptic du jour who is forced to reconsider his view of the universe. Snidely dismissing the work of a certain Mr. Karswell, Dunning soon finds himself the victim of a curse. Given only a few months to live, Dunning must put aside his skepticism and discover a way to escape his fate.

This episode of Escape was broadcast on November 19, 1947. It stars one of the greatest radio actors of all time, Sheriff Dillon from Gunsmoke, William Conrad.

There is also an adaptation from the CBS Mystery Theater in 1974 under the title “This Will Kill You.”

You can read James’s original story as you listen to Edward E. French reading it here.

Last but not least, there is Night of the Demon (a.k.a. Curse of the Demon), the excellent film adaptation made in 1957 by Jacques Tourneur. It stars Dana Andrews as skeptic John Holden and Niall MacGinnis as Karswell. Eagle eye viewers may recognize Peggy Cummins from the wonderful noir Gun Crazy (1950). The role of Joanna Harrington in Night of the Demon is quite different from the femme fatale, Annie Laurie Starr.

It is 4 October. There are 27 days until Halloween.

One of my all-time favorite pictures is John Carpenter’s The Fog. Sure, it’s a spooky movie, and it’s got POTA (Pittsburgh’s Own, Tom Atkins), but the main reason for my love is Stevie Wayne, as played by Adrienne Barbeau. Why? Because she’s got the perfect job and the perfect workplace, that’s why. Stevie is the sole owner/sole operator of AM radio station KAB (located on your dial at 1340), broadcasting the smoothest of jazz from atop a lighthouse hugging the rocky coast near Antonio Bay, CA.

The fact that she drives a Volkswagen Thing to work everyday and lives in a town where you can get a Stomach Pounder and Coke for lunch is just an added bonus.

While living and/or working in a lighthouse holds a certain amount of romantic appeal, there are numerous dangers. Like Ms. Wayne, you could be attacked by leprous ghost seeking revenge. You could be surrounded by semi-sentient, carnivorous plants that have taken over the world (Day of the Triffids). You and a friend could lose your minds, drink the fuel meant for the light, and kill each other (The Lighthouse). Or, as is the case in today’s featured radio drama, your little island could be overrun by rats. Hundreds, maybe thousands of rats.

What a choice!

It’s a bit ironic when a radio program asks its listeners if they “want to get away from it all,” then proceeds to tell a story filled with such paranoid, insular, cramped, asphyxiating horror as “Three Skeleton Key.” This radio play takes place in a single setting, a lighthouse, but as the action progresses, the setting shrinks until you are trapped along with the men in a single room.

The programs of the Golden Age of Radio had at their disposal a frightening array of actors. Men and women like Boris Karloff, William Conrad, Mercedes McCambridge, and Agnes Moorehead lent their vocal skills to scores of radio drama. “Three Skeleton Key” was performed many times on the air with many great actors (including the aforementioned William Conrad). The version I’ve chosen, stars the one and only Vincent Price. A man more well known to radio audiences for playing the suave Robin Hood-type criminal, Simon Templar, otherwise known as The Saint, Price uses his mellifluous voice to play the rough-and-ready, Jean. As the stakes get higher and the rats get closer and closer, Price matches the terror and horror of the situation. Through him, the listener can feel the vermin that came ashore aboard the unmanned ship nip at their heels.

The tale was based on a short story written by French author Georges-Gustave Toudouze. It was published in 1937 in Esquire, the same magazine that, a year later, would publish another “man vs nature” classic, Carl Stephenson’s "Leiningen Versus the Ants." (Stay tuned to this blog for more on that story!) If you want to read the story yourself, click here for a copy. Click here to listen to the 1950 version as aired on Escape. You can follow along with the script by clicking here. As usual, HorrorBabble offers a wonderful reading of Toudouze’s short story. There is also a short film made from the story over on Vimeo.

This play may not be the usual Halloween fare. There are no ghosts or vampires or anything supernatural, but I’ve always found it to be chilling and terrifying. The sound of the rats gnawing their way into lighthouse will stay with you for good long time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to jump into my VW Thing and run out to get a Stomach Pounder and a Coke…